The Ripple Effects of Body Shaming
Research suggests that 69%-84% of women and 10%-30% of men experience body dissatisfaction. Women are more likely to experience a desire to be smaller, while men more often experience a desire to be more muscular. Body dissatisfaction is also prevalent in transgender and non-binary folks who have reported experiencing a perceived inconsistency between their body’s appearance and the gender they identify as. A contributing factor to such widespread dissatisfaction is body shaming.
Body shaming is defined as the inappropriate and unsolicited mocking, stigmatizing or commenting on an individual’s body or appearance in a manner perceived to be negative, regardless of intent. Such behavior is not related only to weight but anything related to appearance (e.g., height, facial features, skin conditions, disability, hair, natural aging). Some verbal examples of body shaming include:
“She’d be a better athlete if she didn’t put on so much weight.”
“You’re balding so early. You better talk to your doctor about that.”
“You’re so skinny. You need to eat a cheeseburger.”
Body biases and comments such as these are often so ingrained in us, particularly in Western culture, because societal norms influence the way we talk to ourselves and others. Body shaming related to weight specifically is often the result of an outdated and longstanding belief that thinness equals beauty. Further, comments toward others that are perceived or intended as compliments may in actuality reinforce harmful norms. For example, it might feel normal or even positive to compliment someone on weight loss, but the reality may be that they have an undiagnosed medical condition, are grieving the sudden loss of a loved one or are experiencing the early stages of an eating disorder.
Body shaming may also present as microaggressions, “a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group” (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Examples may include:
Unsolicited diet or weight loss advice
Directly connecting someone’s medical condition to their body appearance
“You don’t look like you have diabetes.”
Bigger clothing sizes that are not as easily available or accessible as smaller sizes
Characters in bigger bodies being portrayed as the villain, unlovable, pathetic, or lacking self-control in the media
Restaurants, airport, ballpark etc. seating that is not size accessible
Dirty looks toward people in bigger bodies at the gym
Responding, “No you’re beautiful” if someone says, “I’m so fat.”
Communicates that being in a bigger body and being beautiful cannot coexist (which is a grave false assumption)
Body shaming can lead to feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy and low self-esteem. It may also contribute to the development of an eating disorder or other mental health concerns (e.g., anxiety, depression) in the future. Individuals who experience acute or chronic body shaming may also experience harmful misperceptions of oneself or others as well as exhibit an overemphasis or preoccupation with body image that leads them to focus less on other important qualities of themselves and others, such as their personalities, accomplishments and work ethic or how they love and care for themselves and others.
The good news is that we have the power to change the conversation about bodies and shut down body shaming when we see it happening. Self-reflection is essential in the process. We may have knowingly or unknowingly engaged in body shaming towards others, and most of us have done it to ourselves. As a forward movement, we can emphasize body acceptance or practice body affirmations, and we can respectfully stand up for ourselves and others when body shaming occurs. Asking, “What did you mean by that?” when someone makes a shameful comment about a person’s body shape/size/appearance is a great way to turn the comment back on the other person and kindly encourages them to practice self-reflection.
We can also take Glennon Doyle’s advice to make peace with our body in two ways:
Making peace in and with the body we have by accepting it, honoring it, and speaking kind words to it
Going out into the world and literally making (creating/spreading/highlighting) peace with our physical bodies
Body shaming has been normalized for far too long, and given the detrimental effects it possesses, it’s time to shift the conversation from shame to empowerment. Focusing on what our bodies do rather than what they look like creates space for so much more - more connections, more empowerment, more love and kindness, more creativity. After all, we’re only given this one body - why not celebrate it and use it as the instrument through which we live the lives we envision for ourselves rather than shaming others for doing just that?